[size=12]Auditions for the Camp Talent Show are Friday, and your BFF Samantha is super-psyched to sing her way to Idol status with her "moody" rendition of Avril's "Sk8ter Boi." Uh-oh. Samantha's totally talented--but not when it comes to singing. Her voice is worse than the wails of a hyena with its tail caught in a car door.
The only thing she might win if she warbles is a spot in the Shame Hall of Fame. As her most trusty bud, you need to level with Sam before she hits the tryouts. But how do you do it without going all Simon on her?
First, take stock of the situation. Spilling difficult stuff is tough, and different scenarios call for different approaches. That's why we've identified three kinds of "hard to break it to ya" sitches and the best ways to deal.
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM You've got to tell your bud something she might take as an insult. Addressing Samantha's not-so-sweet singing fits smack into this category. So does clearing the air about a BFF's bad breath or body odor.
How to deal... A major rule of shooting it straight is to be sensitive. The wrong move? Being blunt, like saying, "You have seriously bad breath, and guys are gonna gross out if they get within 10 feet of you." Friends need to be honest, not cruel. So, play it smooth.
Your bud's breath is making a stink? Communicate your point by buying two tins of Altoids, one for you and one for her. Pop one and say, "Some cute boys are at the pool--we don't want those onion rings we ate for lunch to linger." No doubt, she'll follow your lead. Repeat the Altoids trick, dally, until it's a habit.
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Another way to get crucial criticism across is by presenting your bud with options. Your friend thinks she's gonna be the next Avril? Don't flat out dis her musical abilities. Would you want someone giving you a stone-cold swipe? No way! Instead, try, "I know you're psyched to sing, but if you go with your gymnastics routine, you're in for sure!" Be upbeat about your bud's other mad skills and, chances are, you'll steer her painlessly away from embarrassment.
DAMAGE CONTROL To put out a fire on your bud's behalf, you have to clue her in on some hurtful stuff. For instance, you get wind of a rumor that your BFF was flirting with tons of other girls' boyfriends (a total lie). You need to tell her what you heard, but you hate the idea of repeating such gnarly gossip.
How to deal... Don't beat around the bush. If you've got to lay some yucky news on your bud for damage control purposes, be kind but frank. Say, 'As your friend, I think it's important to tell you something I heard. And then we'll figure out how to clear it up."
Once she hears the dirt, let her vent. She'll likely be upset. But she won't feel powerless to fix things, thanks to you. Brainstorm ways you and your girl can gain control of the prob (Could you confront the gossipy girls? Can an older sister offer advice?) because that's what friends are for.
BIG-TIME BAD NEWS This kind of info is way heartbreaking to relate because it's hard enough for you to swallow, let alone break it to your bud. An example? Your 'rents tell you out of the blue that you and your family are moving 3,000 miles away--in three weeks!
How to deal... When relaying the bad news, your best approach is to be totally supportive and reassuring. Stress to your bud that while your life is changing, your friendship isn't--it does not mean your special bond is history. Demonstrate your determination to stay tight with her: "I'll e-mail every week."[/size]
موضوع: HONESTY 
الإثنين أبريل 14, 2008 7:29 am
